Jesse Burant. Editor/Webmaster/Photo Editing
Yes, that’s right, folks, year two of The Shadow is in the books. We’ve written, um, around 130 articles over that time (yes, I counted). And by “we,” I mean 95% John. And we’ll be honest: some issues were very, very good, and others were only very good. No one is perfect. We’ve laughed, we’ve loved, we’ve even ticked off one person. Well, just one officially. We’re assuming there are others though. Now if we could have just gotten the University to pay for it… But, anyway, even the members of The Shadow are prone to the sentimental goodbye, and here it is. I’m Jesse, and I hope I speak for John and Brad too when I say that founding and editing The Shadow (and writing a couple articles here and there) has probably been the most interesting and important part of the whole “college experience.” Who would’ve thought a simple idea dreamed up by 3 computer scientists would grow into a campus event involving 500+ copies distributed 10 times a year, and in 2 short years become the premiere student newspaper on campus. Finally, I would like my last official act as Shadow editor to be a thank you to John and Brad, without whom The Shadow would simply never have existed. Thanks, guys. It’s been fun to say the least.

John Sanfelippo. Writer
I still can’t believe I’m doing this. Writing The Shadow, I mean. When I first brought up the idea of creating an underground newspaper for CUW it was as a joke. Thing is, I’m much too lazy to create an actual publication. Sure I could write some articles, but that’s nothing. What about doctoring the photos, creating the layout, printing copies off? What about distribution, editing, public relations, middle management, human resources, directors of finance? Who would hire and then manage the secretaries of secretaries and other assorted minions? And what about bringing in armed thugs for our personal protection (and for the occasional “odd job”)? Writing an underground newspaper is a lot more than just writing articles—it’s hard work! So, naturally, when I first brought up the idea, it was, as I said, a joke and nothing more. But then Brad and Jesse said they would help me. Both of them had some inexplicable grudge against the school’s official newspaper and they felt the school needed its own “Onion”. After some coaxing they convinced me that they would take care of the tedious details. All I would have to do is write the articles, the easy part—the fun part! And so our little publication went and grew from there. As it turns out Jesse was able and willing to do most of the hard stuff. Brad filled in at middle management and adequately did the little to nothing that we sorely needed. As for the thugs, well if you haven’t guessed from my last name, my ancestors hail from an island known as Sicily. I was able to locate some part-time thugs who were willing to work for a very reasonable rate (and we didn’t even have to pay them benefits). So yeah, what am I supposed to say here? Oh yeah, the usual thing: uh, thanks for reading. I mean it. You, yes you (well not you, but the rest of you), are the reason that The Shadow existed (I swear it had nothing to do with the fact that I’m attention-starved and was crying out for help, that’s pure coincidence). I tried not to get a big head when our inbox became plugged with fan mail telling me how amazing I was. When the female segment of our audience started sending us emails with attachments named “lipstick” and “who are you guys?” I shrugged it off (this turned out to be a good thing too since those emails were actually bait, sent by a competing newspaper in an effort to uncover our true identities). To your mutual benefit, I also ignored the mail sent by the thought police who wanted to see our paper degenerate into toothless satire (it turns out those emails also originated with our arch enemies at The Beacon). I’m sorry, the type of humor that offends absolutely no one at all should be reserved for popsicle sticks and gum wrappers. It was never our intent to offend, only to entertain. If anything, a number of times we held back on ideas we thought would offend a significant portion of our audience. Still, inevitably, there were times when we may have touched a nerve, pissed someone off with our use of language or just made someone who brought in all that worthless art feel uncomfortable. For this, I feel that something does need to be said and so I’ll just come out and say it: I’m sorry! Yes, I’m truly sorry. Truly sorry that you have such thin skin. So sorry that you are so uptight and can’t take a joke. Incredibly sorry that you lack the ability to, for one fleeting instant, laugh at the joke that is you. I mean, c’mon, lighten up! I really meant nothing by it, and I mean that. I love all of you. It’s ok, you can let it out. There, there—here, blow your nose on this Beacon. Good, now give me a hug. It’s gonna be alright. Things are going to get better for you. I am leaving for good and all. Then there will be no one left to create the satire that gently magnifies your stupidity. Or will there? Actually, there probably will be. We’ve found someone else to take over for me and (he/she) might not be as kind and loving to your idiocy as I was. (He/she) will take over where I left off, continuing what hopefully will become a CUW tradition. What’s that? You need another Beacon? I understand. But seriously… I had a great time writing the paper. This year it became more difficult to come up with good ideas because I moved off-campus back to Milwaukee and started working 30 to 35 hours a week. There was also a point where I stopped caring about the paper at all, but fortunately Jesse was able to persuade me to continue my writing (He controlled payroll and the thugs took his side).

Brad Joerres. Middle Management
Well fellow readers, it looks like the end of the world has come. The Shadow staff is finally revealing itself and President Bush is coming to Concordia all in the same week. Two years have passed since the beginning of Concordia’s Finest News Source. With each publication, I strongly feel that we have provided the comic relief this campus desperately needed. To be honest, the entire point of The Shadow was to have fun. Half of that fun was creating the issue and the other half was distributing the paper under the cover of night. It often felt like a game; us trying to deposit stacks of The Shadow as quickly and quietly as possible. To everyone roaming the hallways from 1-2 in the morning, I specifically thank you for the challenges you gave us. So have you ever wondered why we created this paper? Well, I can sum it up in two words: The Beacon. After two years of reading its “excellence,” we decided Concordia was ripe for something new. With my partners in crime, John and Jesse, our vision of a humorous newspaper began to take shape. Jesse, a master of graphics and John, a skilled propaganda writer, became the instruments of that change. Without their talent, this paper would have remained as nothing more than a passing dream. In conclusion, I would like to thank the faculty and staff who gave public support for the paper. It honestly made our day when you acknowledged our presence. To the students who discussed The Shadow in the hall, we loved it. We just wished you would have talked louder. Finally, to those who want to make a difference at Concordia, drop us a note. We would love for this publication to continue and bring joy to the students of academia. Oh, and last but not least... Bob, you rock.