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“We wanted to give both the incumbent and the challenger equal time,” explained Graduation Coordinator Stephanie Rothschild. “But let’s face it, who really wants to hear both of them talk back to back? Instead, we asked Kerry if he would prefer to play us some good old fashioned blues—Massachusetts style.”

Bush’s speech, according to sources, will not touch on any political subject matter. In response, Kerry’s band has vowed to play strictly instrumental songs so as to stay away from spreading any political agenda.

“We’re going to just play our hearts out—you know, have a good time. It’s a graduation jam,” said the drummer for Kerry On. “What songs? Well, let’s see. Some of the songs we have planned include Won’t Get Fooled Again, Like Father Like Son, the theme song from the movie Liar Liar and Born Rich In The USA.”

After hearing the selection of songs, a person close to Vice President Cheney says that the VP plans on “doing something to Kerry’s guitar strings.”

Presidential hopeful John Kerry.	Massachusetts Music Man: Kerry knows how to “kerry” a tune.