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Computer Science Students Occupy Dorm Room
REGENTS. New Associate Vice President Sarah Ann Coleman’s increasingly dreadful year took a turn for the worse yesterday as University officials announced that two computer science students, juniors Frank Kinder and Jeremy Weektow, have been occupying their Regents Residence Hall dorm room for 4 days and counting.

“Don’t these people have any classes?” asked Associate Vice President Coleman. The protest is just another in a string of occupations including a pair of Alpha Chi sit-ins and the Pre-Sem Student Association’s (PSSA) ongoing campaign against Martin Luther Bobble-Heads.

Campus Safety says that the two computer scientists began their occupation last Thursday evening when senior Exercise Physiology major, Staci Smith, noted the two entering their room after dinner. “I saw them in there at, like, 7pm when I left for a party, and they were like still there when I came back at 2am,” she said.

When Smith saw them still within the room as she left for a party on Friday she asked why they hadn’t left. “All they would say was like ‘Float! See out!’ or something. I think that’s the name of their group. Something big is going to happen Thursday, too. They said that’s when their, like, ‘Program’ is due or something. Creepy.”

Smith told Campus Safety of the situation when she stumbled home early Monday and noted the pair still in their room. “It’s like, hey, don’t you guys party? Then I realized that they must be, like, a group protesting something.”

Monday evening A.V.P. Coleman met with the pair in their dorm. “They were still on their computers, but I talked with them. They said that this is a normal weekend pattern and that, if anything, they were protesting the release date of Half Life 2 being pushed back again.”

Coleman left immediately thereafter, claiming she had to meet with the Art Guild regarding a purchase of a new piece of art for the courtyard. “This is really getting excessive,” said a frustrated Coleman. “I mean, does anyone really know what the heck those things are even supposed to be?”

Prominent uber-rich-geek and software superhero Bill Gates had heard of the protest and was flying out to organize a rally for the protesting programmers, but upon arrival, he was informed of the true situation. “It’s disappointing, I guess,” said Gates. “I even had a cool slogan made up: ‘Everyone else is protesting, so buy Windows XP or we’ll confiscate your PC’.”

When The Shadow talked with the two computer gee… scientists about their dorm occupation, they were dismissive. “Occupation?” asked Weektow. “Ha! That’s a good one. We computer guys are gonna be the only ones with occupations after college!”

The Shadow’s reporter tried to ask further questions but the students had returned to searching for Half Life 2 information.

Jeremy Weektow at his desk in Regents.


Who knows what secrets lurk on the campus of CUW? The Shadow knows!