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“According to Carter, his performance was nothing short of inspirational. “When the professor said that he wanted students to ask questions, I figured no one would have the audacity to actually do it,” said Carter. “I mean, you just don’t expect someone to say, ‘I must know something right now, even though forty other people will have to wait while my ridiculously obscure and utterly meaningless question is answered.’ But then this kid in the front row raised his hand and asked a question. Which was surprising enough, but then he did it again. And again. And again, until he was temporarily silenced by a Wonderbra to the back of the head.”

Dietrick, who broke the all time record for most questions asked in a single MWF class period, a record which had stood for 32 years, seemed confused at his ability to effortlessly win over the ladies. “To be honest, I don’t know what I did that attracted such attention from las chicas,” said Dietrick, slipping into a saucy Spanish accent. “I’m just trying to be the best student I can be while making as many people as possible aware that I know about the Kongo-Wara War.”

Despite Dietrick’s unfounded humility, senior Rebecca Kostrevekov, one of the dozens of sexy coeds wooed by Dietrick’s questions, was effusive in her praise of the hunky stud muffin. “His inquiries – ‘questions’ doesn’t do them justice – were just so fearless, so bold, so... so sexy,” said Kostrevekov, who took a moment to still her beating heart before continuing. “I thought he was going to stop. I pleaded for him to stop. ‘No, no, no!’ I said. ‘I can’t take any more!’ When he asked who it was that once said the cuckoo bird should be the national bird instead of the bald eagle, all I could do to keep from jumping him right then and there was peel off my clothes and thrust them towards the front row.”

While Kostrevekov’s undergarments were initially alone with Dietrick, the other girls soon recognized the awesomely sexy question-asking master in their midst and flung their bras and panties towards the front row as well. According to Hugh Carter, in the final five minutes of class, Dietrick was so encumbered by the layers of underclothes that each raising of his hand was an inspirational testament to his desire to learn.

“Late in the class when he was so covered that we could hardly see him, I thought his question asking would slow down,” said one admirer, who wished to remain nameless so that her boyfriend would not know that another man had been orally pleasing her for the past hour. “But then, just when I thought I’d seen the last of him, a hand would somehow raise up between the cotton, lace, and satin armor blanketing the front row and shoot out to ask another question.” While being covered in women’s underwear was a pleasing situation for Dietrick and every woman within hearing distance, the other males in the class were less than delighted, “Who the heck does this guy think he is?” demanded one upset male classmate. “Doesn’t he see how bad he’s making the rest of us look? Sure, sure, he’ll have a good time tonight, but how am I going to get any after they’ve all seen him? It’s just not fair.”

Even though Dietrick did not have any advice for his male classmates, he did leave his throng of doting female admirers with these comforting words, “Don’t worry chicas, I’ll be back next week. And I may even bring my laptop.”

Barth 019: Site of the alleged "de-briefing".